Facade

Facade is the fifty-seventh episode of TribeTwelve and the 17th video in Season 3. It premiered on August 23, 2019 at 11:00pm EST, It's also the final episode of the series, due to real life events involving the series creator, Adam Rosner

Description[]

never take candy from strangers

Transcript[]

[Beeping from the low camera battery indicator. Ominous music plays. Noah crouches into frame with the bag he had just been given.]

Journal: What's that noise? Do you hear that?

Noah: Let's see what we have in here. [Gasping.] Oh yes!

[He pulls out a water bottle.]

Noah: Oh, fuck yeah, water! Oh, shit--

[He opens the bottle and chugs it. The camera continues to beep.]

Journal: Is that your camera?

[Noah finishes his drink and closes the bottle up.]

Noah: Oh, I gotta conserve this. Gotta conserve this!

[He searches in the bag some more and pulls out a protein bar.]

Noah: Oh, food! Food!

[Noah unwraps the protein bar. The beeping rapidly increases.]

Noah: [moaning] Oh, so good...

Journal: Hey! ...Noah! ...Your camera is going to die!

[Noah pulls a battery out of the bag.]

Noah: Battery... Battery!

[Noah picks up the camera; cut to black. Footage picks up on a shot of the bag's contents laid out in front of Noah. The ominous music continues.]

Noah: Okay, this is what we got here.

Journal: That's nifty.

Noah: Yeah, okay. So, uh, let's think logistics here. Um, I got this. [He points to each of the bags contents as he names them.] It's paper with the boardwalk... schematic on it, so we're gonna map my way out. Got the pencil. Um, got the water here, I took, uh... lotta sips of that, but I'm gonna... i-it'll last a few days if I pace my sips, and maybe I can collect some water if it rains, I dunno. Uh, I ate half, uh-- not half, maybe like a quarter of the protein bar. Gotta ration that too. Uh... got some tape, I guess in case uh... this tape runs out. I got the battery. Um, I got some scotch tape. Not really sure why. Got a compass, and I got a pencil sharpener. For the pencil, presumably. Um, does this... compass... even work here?

[He flips the compass over; on the back is a drawing of an arrow pointing to the Severance symbol.]

Journal: It points to the lock.

[Cut to Noah looking at the map, pencil in hand.]

Noah: Okay, gotta map my way outta here, let's... retrace our steps...

[He starts drawing along his path through the boardwalk.]

Noah: Came in here... then... then I was here... and then they... took me over here.

[Distant chittering.]

Noah: And, uh... tried to go back that way... They put me over here... I went this way...

[Cut to the map after Noah has finished annotating.]

Noah: Okaaaay.... and that's all the moves I've made.

Journal: Great job. So what's your next move?

Noah: I have no idea. Absolutely no fucking idea what I'm doing.

Journal: Remember what you told yourself. You can do this, Noah.

Noah: You're right... You're right, Milo. I said... I said "follow the path"...

[He zooms in to the map, pointing.]

Noah: "Note the changes"... Uh... fuck, what else did I say? Um... "if there's anything weird, I go the other way"... um... "ignore the fortunes"... What else? What else did I say? What else did I SAY?

[Distant screeching.]

Journal: I'm a book, not a parrot.

Noah: Okay, let's go.

[Cut to black, cut to Noah walking on the main boardwalk. Otherworldly music continues to play. Noah sighs as he notices a fortune on the ground and zooms in. It reads: "You will die alone and poorly dressed." He zooms his camera out, tilts it back up, and keeps walking.]

Noah: Nope! Ignored.

[Cut to Noah with the compass in his hand, trying to find a bearing.]

Noah: This doesn't work...

[Cut to Noah with another fortune in his hand. This one says "Don't eat the paper."

Noah: Hmm, is that a challenge? Well, I'm game!

[Noah eats the fortune.]

Noah: Hey, not bad!

[Cut to a crab sitting on the edge of the boardwalk.]

Noah: Heeey, Mr. Krabs... so good to see you...

[The crab runs away as Noah approaches it.]

Noah: [roaring] Food! Food--

[Cut to Noah drawing on the map. Loud crunching as he eats the crab. He pulls out some tape and uses it on the map. Cut to Noah walking on the boardwalk again with the journal in his hand.]

Noah: So... lemme get this straight, you're saying you were being an asshole on purpose.

Journal: It's all part of the plan. Your plan, but... yeah. I was still an asshole. Being in this form... makes me act indifferent. I've changed. Forgive me.

Noah: I-I... forgive you, Milo, it just... It just makes me a little... freaked out knowing that I'm destined to follow the master plan of an insane deity-- who happens to be a mutated form of me from the future, by the way-- yeah, uh, where do I even fuckin' start?

Journal: That's completely understandable. Shit's pretty fucked.

[Noah keeps walking and comes to stop at a row of leaves blocking his path, with another fortune right in front of it.]

Noah: Uh...

[He zooms in on the fortune. It reads: "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.]

Noah: What the fuck do I do? This is, uh...

[Distant screeching.]

Noah: I wanna ignore it, but this is weird... Shit!

Journal: They're watching us.

[Chirping. Cut to Noah looking up at the observation tower. The ominous music is louder and more prominent. There is a sphere hanging low in the sky.]

Noah: What the...

[He slowly zooms in on the sphere. More chirping.]

Noah: That's gonna be an eye, isn't it?

[Demonic laughter.]

Journal: Yep.

Noah: [shouting] Eeeh! I fuckin' knew it--

[Cut to Noah coming across another fortune in a tree.]

Noah: What the...

[He zooms in on it. It reads, "We can only show you the door, you're the one who has to walk through it." Noah sighs as he walks away. There is some screen tearing before he turns to his left and gasps as a doorway has suddenly appeared right in the center of the boardwalk. A ringing sound begins to build.]

Noah: What... T-The door...

[The chirping gets closer. Noah gasps.]

Journal: Wait a minute.

[Noah spins around to see the spider a distance away, approaching him from behind.]

Noah: No, not again!

Journal: Wait a minute! Wait! Noah!

[Noah runs toward the door.]

Noah: Not again!

Journal: Don't go in there! It's another trap!

Noah: No! No! Gotta go away!

[Noah steps through the doorway, but it is empty. On the other end of the boardwalk is the Administrator. The ringing intensifies.]

Noah: Wh...

Unknown: Yes!

[The Administrator grows taller, his tentacles extending outward.]

Noah: No way...

[Noah flips the night vision off. He's back in his house; it is daytime. The colors, however, are washed out, mostly colored in tones of purple.]

Noah: I'm... I'm home?! I'm at... my house...

[Noah laughs in relief.]

Noah: It's real! I'm home! Yes! Oh, I could kiss the ground!

[Noah kneels down and kisses the floor of his house.]

Noah: Oh, I'm home! Ha haaa! You fuckers couldn't contain me!

[He puts the camera down and walks into the living room, his arms outstretched.]

Noah: Yes! Yes!

[The night vision is switched back on. Noah is still out at the boardwalk; his house only appears on camera when the night vision is turned off. Someone's foot is standing next to the camera.]

Noah: I'm home!

[Noah falls on his knees.]

Noah: I made it! Oh...

[Cut to black. Cut back to Noah looking at the camera. There is still some distant ominous background music.]

Noah: So guys, I... I made it out! Yeah, I guess Firebrand gave me a shortcut out! Uh, future me said that he keeps changing my timelines so... so I guess he helped me bypass all that shit, and... now I'm back home! Yeah, uh... Maybe things are gonna work out after all. For the first time in a while I'm... I'm feeling confident, you know? Like... I'm feelin' real good!

[He holds up the journal.]

Noah: How you feelin', buddy?

[He brings it close to his ear but it's still silent.]

Noah: That's okay, take your time.

[The journal doesn't say anything. Noah looks at it.]

Noah: He's probably just sleepin'.

[Another long pause.]

Noah: You can answer when you want, don't worry.

[Cut to Noah's fridge.]

Noah: Boy, I'm thirsty.

[Noah presses a plastic cup repeatedly into the fridge's water dispenser. Nothing comes out.]

Noah: Huh! Water's broken!

[Cut to Noah approaching his fridge door.]

Noah: Let's try this again.

[Noah grunts as he attempts to open the refrigerator door. The door doesn't budge.]

Noah: Oh, that's, uh... that's a tough door--

[He grunts again as he continues to attempt to pry open the door, but with no success. Cut to Noah trying to open his pantry, again with no success.]

Noah: Juuust want a snack.

[He grunts as he tries to open both doors. Cut to Noah pulling the lever on his water faucet, with no water coming out. Cut to Noah trying to operate a different faucet. He laughs. Cut to him turning the handle on his shower, still laughing as no water comes out. Cut to Noah grunting as he attempts to pull up his toilet seat.]

Noah: [exasperated] Come onnnn!

[More grunting and pulling.]

Noah: I gotta go!

[Noah pants as he continues to grunt and pull. Cut to Noah turning on his radio, on which distorted, hellish music plays. As he cycles through the channels, different (but equally disturbing) music plays on each station.]

Noah: Huh, I kinda like this one.

[He continues cycling through the stations for a while.]

Noah: Man, Bieber just ain't what he used to be.

[Cut to black. Cut to Noah looking out at the marina from inside his house as a boat drifts by. There is a low ambient rumble as music plays in the background.]

Noah: Huh, I feel like watching the boats go by today.

[Noah opens his back door, through which the waterfront is visible, where the weather is overcast. His home alarm beeps as the door opens to a different view leading back into his house, in sight of the same door he just opened. The weather through the door is sunny instead.]

Noah: Oh!

[Noah closes his door, the view shifting back to the waterfront. His alarm beeps once more as he opens it again, leading to the same view as before. He then closes it again.]

Noah: Can't wait to see them boats!

[He opens the door, stepping through and closing it behind him. He approaches his back door again.]

Noah: You know what? I feel like watching the boats go by today.

[He opens the door. The alarm beeps, and when he closes the door, it's stormy outside once more.]

Noah: At least the alarm system works.

[Cut to Noah's front door.]

Noah: Been a hot minute since I checked the mail.

[He unlocks and opens his front door. Beyond the door is darkness; but suddenly a large pile of eyeballs frantically looking in all directions and wetly shuffling against each other appears. Noah shuts the door.]

Noah: Oh.

[Noah locks his door.]

Noah: No mail today!

[Cut to black. Cut to Noah in his room.]

Noah: Come on, say somethin'!